


Sometimes Always

by BlueDysania



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Implied Past Shizaya, Implied Portal to Hell, M/M, a lot of implied things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 20:10:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6438523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueDysania/pseuds/BlueDysania
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, Shizuo thinks he might regret what he did. Sometimes, he thinks it might have been better if he hadn't. But always...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes Always

Sometimes Shizuo hears people on the streets of Ikebukuro ask how Izaya Orihara can be so evil.

Sometimes Shizuo finds that a particular stop sign at that particular moment in time supremely pisses him off and will swing it around with a roar of momentary rage, causing gossiping bystanders to scatter to the four winds.

Sometimes Shizuo does this because he knows exactly how, even if no one else does. Even if Izaya doesn’t know, though he used too.

Sometimes Shizuo wants to tell someone what happened, what he’d seen, and what he’d done. To finally have someone to share this burden with him. He knows no one would believe him.

Sometimes, Shizuo thinks that Shinra might know. Or that perhaps Celty somehow sensed it and told him because when Izaya is hurt (a lucky shot from a nobody and Shizuo found him _laughing_ and _dying_ with eyes that contained insanity and fear in equal measure) but lies there with a warped smirk and somehow immune to the effects of pain, Shinra’s eyes will darken and his smile will twist bitterly.

Sometimes Shizuo wonders if he regrets his actions that day in high school. If he should have seen Izaya disappearing into a dark (unnatural, withering, sickly) shadow in an unpopulated hall and done nothing. The look of fear the last expression he would remember on the raven’s face.

Sometimes Shizuo _would_ regret his actions and then he would see some reminder of Before. Remember the socially awkward boy who wore too many masks and was so flustered by Shizuo’s blatant honesty. The one who disappeared into that mass of shadows in the high school hall all those years ago, and seemed to never come back out.

Sometimes Shizuo would see a sign in the changed man (flea, flea, flea) that maybe that desperately friendship seeking boy had survived whatever tortures had been exacted upon his body and mind in the depths of Hell. Small moments when both were to drained by the day to do much more than throw an insult or two back and forth and then settle in their own (monster alike) company.

Sometimes Shizuo wonders if it was worth it for who the flea (Izaya, Izaya, Izaya) is now. Unnatural, withering, and so sick even when no one sees it. The pain buried so deep inside that it is forgotten but aches raw and exposed and unattended all the same; all the time. Until Izaya is more than human, as he has always claimed but will never truly appreciate the irony that in his declaration as a god he is exactly the opposite.

Sometimes Shizuo wonders, regrets, and then will sigh, light his cigarette and seek out the stench of the underworld that has never left his memories nor Izaya's soul, thinking maybe he should leave this source of cycling regret that chains him more effectively than any physical restraint.

Always, Shizuo stays.

He went to Hell and back for his socially awkward, mask-wearing, and easily flustered lover who became an unnatural, withering, and so sick parasite. And if he could go back to that moment where everything turned so wrong, he would do the same thing every time.

Why?

Always, Izaya stayed.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Imagine Person B of your OTP going to hell and back because of Person A.


End file.
